first week down, and im back from camping! my mom had me apply for a job and im currently studying for my learners permit.. big things happening here!

..except im a slacker. gosh, studying sucks. i found out theres an elearning thing but i dont think im eligible since im not renewing? ahhhh ): whatever ): its ok ill cope.

i started playing disco elysium! its fun so far.. i like it! ive also been watching more adventure time. i really wanna get into fionna and cake but ahh the prerequisite lore.. i DO like adventure time though, dont get me wrong! i just wish i could sit down and watch things without wanting to explode LOL

ahnee ways. not much is up with me really. i dunno, i just.. havent been busy. ive been doing a lot of thinking but nothing concrete.. aha

ive nothing more to add. here is a song i found from a family guy edit that turned out to be pretty good ackshually.

happy stink ball september. amazing how this site has been around for over a year now, huh? i wouldve liked to celebrate my one year of diluculo but ah, alas..!!

ive been slacking on journal entries. oops. im just.. so tired. im still sick btw! not as bad as before but im still coughing and such. its so annoying. my sleep has been getitng better atleast. we're back to waking up at around noon so win!!!!!!!!

ive also just been so. stumped. on what to talk about. i havent really felt safe lately. i dunno. im paranoid again. it always happens around this time of year, i cant help it. ahhhh. ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. what everrrr. and i hate talking to my friends about my problems so much. i can complain just fine but genuine venting is so. ugh. i appreciate the worry but ahgghhhh i dont want words of consolation i want an immediate solution and fix to my problems.

recently i redownloaded destiny 2 and played it with my friends. its fun. i love destiny 2, even if im fomo'd super hard by the content. its okay. im doing the content that i can (: im also redownloading dbd. im really going back to my roots here.

oh i also finished the stranger by camus, i liked it. i relate to meursault so fucking much, its insane. ive been struggling with low empathy a lot. i care for my friends and want them to be happy but i just. cant feel for them. i dunno how to explain it.. the book made me feel really understood though. great book. im gonna read some hesse letters and finish yi sangs selected works but the main book ill be reading next is the trial by kafka. taking a break from limbus stuff if you will. dont get me wrong though i love limbus still. i just love hello charlotte way more

for a long time i was wary of making new friends and deeper connections. i was convinced that every person that tried to be a closer friend was someone that secretly hated me, had a longtime grudge against me, and wants to get close to me in hopes of ruining my life. ive been getting better though i think im just. incredibly anxious and paranoid. NOT shy. ah, theres something wrong with me

getting political tiktoks on my for you page is such a downer. i wish my parents were more accepting of me. i saw a pride tiktok about how this parent for a trans kid said "id rather her change her pronouns that me write her obituary" and damn. thats so. ah. i know my parents just want the best for me but ahhhhh. ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

i should get to bed. ive been listening to duster recently because of a funny roblox video but thats not what im gonna link here. sorry. car seat headrest affects me more!